**Sheepish Grin**

*finger wave* hey guys... what's goin on? Yeah. yeah.. I did fail at NaPoBloMo... an epic fail. I made it through like three days.. I did blog on paper, but when I got home I was sleep deprived and exhausted! No.. no I'm not making excuses.. okay so maybe I am, but you forgive me right? No? Well fine. I guess I'll just have to start over. The whole point of NaPoBloMo is to write more right?

Oh fine.

I fail.




~outtie <3

**Thursday**

Yes.. I realize the last two posts are posted today and not the day they were written... So I guess now I have to admit that I'm not at tech-savvy as I originally thought... I was trying to test out posting these at a later date but for some reason I'm a tard and couldn't figure it out... go figure.

So! Here's to a weekend away from all the crazy that is my life. Here's to a weekend of "blogging" on paper and filling you in on Sunday. I promise to write everyday... I just can't post because a) no Internet at the camp I'm going to :( (no cell service either... AUGH!) b) I'm a tard. My original intention was to write posts that would post on the days they were supposed to, but that totally didn't work out. As you can see. One of these days I'll figure it out, but for now? No time.

Time is a funny thing. It does weird things to you. I never seem to have enough of it these days and yet a few months ago all I HAD was time. Time to do stupid things.. like catch up on my T.V. addictions. Or write. Or read. Or sleep. Not that I really sleep anymore, but that was nice.... Now my life is full of running in circles trying to get everything done and maintain some sort of sanity. My room-mate wrote on the white board in our entry our shopping list of things we forgot to get at Wal Mart, at 11:30 p.m. on Halloween night... I'm a freak, I know... it looked like this....
Brita Filters,
Dishwashing Soap,
Sanity.

I don't think they sell that at Wal Mart... but if they did I'd buy it all.

Meghan's Music Musings

Song- "Hide and Seek"
Artist- Imogen Heap
Album- Speak For Yourself

This is just a BEAUTIFUL song. She has a quality to her voice like none I've ever heard... and she is SO talented. I first heard her music at the end of the movie The Garden State ("Let Go") but I was intrigued... so I had to find more (as I always do...) I rememeber my brother showing me a youtube video of her singing a song called "Just For Now" and I was FLOORED. This particular song hold a kind of funny memory... I was riding with my good friend George somewhere (I think my brother, his wife and I were on our way to a Swell Season concert... and yes I listed that in the right order... his wife was my date and my brother was his.. haha) and this song came on, so we were all singing along and it came to the part where she jumps and octive and he hit it RIGHT ON. We all kind of looked at each other and just started cracking up... one of the reasons I love George so much is because we get to sing together :)

The video I was talking about ("Just For Now")



I now am forced to disconnect... but don't worry. I'll be writing this weekend either in my paper journal, or my laptop and have more for you to read on Monday :)

~Outtie <3

**Wednesday**

If you can believe it... today is even crazier than yesterday. I literally have like 5 seconds to post. The phone has been ringing off the hook at work (which is weird since I normally get like 25 phone calls in an 8 hour period...) and I am swamped with all those lovely last minute things I never think of before I go/ do anything. Sometimes I wish I were more organized. I tend to fly by the seat of my pants (if you will) and I hate that I always feel like I'm going to forget something big... and I usually do.

I'm pretty sure I've got everything I need for VDC tomorrow, but who knows. I could have forgotten something important.. but I will tell you nothing beats the time I forgot my bra.... THAT was an interesting weekend.

Anywho. On to music!

Meghan's Music Musing

Song- "She's Mine"
Artist- Bret Dennen
Album- So Much More

This is a fun song. I remember hearing it for the first time and just TOTALLY falling in love with Bret Dennen. This is actually the first song I'd ever heard of his. He has this folk quality to his voice that sets him apart from a lot of other singers, but a pop quality that makes him fun to listen to. Not to mention he's got a little bit of a hippie side to him. Love me some hippies. This song in particular is one that a friend (love interest at the time...) introduced me to.. we had been talking about music (weird with me right?!) and we were exchanging "have you heard of" stories and he told me to listen to this song and I was hooked! I immediately downloaded everything I could find! My favorite part is the love-song quality of the song, without being a ballad. It's just fun and adorable :) She's mine. She's mine. She's mine. All mine.

~Outtie <3

**Tuesday**

Today's been a little bit hectic. I'm preparing to go on a weekend called Via De Cristo, or VDC like all of us call it :) It's a Christian Renewal weekend to strengthen your faith and exhaust you... which sounds weird, but it's super true. I feel like every time I work VDC I come home SUPER exhausted... but in a good way! I like to think I leave it all up on the mountain. I'm excited to spend some time with some of my favorite people in the world, but I'm also excited to get some time to myself to reflect. I've had a lot going on the last few months and I feel like I need to relax and reflect and take stock of my life. This weekend is the perfect time to do it.

Anyway. Sorry this has to be short, I'm running around like a crazy person....

Meghan's Music Musings

Song- "Summertime"
Artist- Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong
Album- I'm not sure what album this is from.. there are so many!

This is one of those songs that I love to put on not in the summer... which you would think would be the case... but in the winter when it's freezing (I get cold SUPER easy) because it makes me relax and think about sitting on a warm beach somewhere with a nice glass of iced tea and a smile. I remember shortly after I re-painted my bedroom at my parents house to look like a coffee shop (deep red, gold and creme stripes... it was AWESOME!) I threw on my iPod and this song came on.. it's just one of those relaxing ballads you have to love. This particular version has a little Louis Armstrong thrown in.. which always makes me want to watch Hello Dolly... haha. Anyway. Suummmertiiiiimeeee, and the livin is eeeeaaaaasssssyyyyy...

If only.

~Outtie <3

**Monday, Monday...**

I'm a giant child. A big happy-go-lucky giggle at silly things kid. I love to play games, color, watch cartoons and play tag. I think a lot of that is why I get along with teens/ kids so well. NaBloPoMo's website suggested we write about a toy we still have in our possession from our childhood. I don't think I'm going to use the prompts every day, but seeing as how I'm a giant child and a borderline recovering pack rat I figured I MUST have something from my childhood still.

The problem is, I can't really think of anything. I think I actually finally got rid of things from my childhood. I have some stuff from my High School/ Junior High years, but not much.. I mostly have memories.. like my blankie. I used to sleep with my blankie every single night, and took it with me to a St. Patrick's Day party at the "Pine St. Brothel" in Orange, like you do. Well that night I got super drunk (likeyoudo.. I mean..) and lost it. I was VERY sad (and still am) about that. I'm pretty sure the only "toy" I still have from my childhood are books. I LOVE to read and always have, and my parents have saved all of my books, which I've recently passed on to my daughter. She loves reading too :) and we like to read together, so it's really fun to go back through all of the books I used to love and read them to her and hear her talk about the stories.. I couldn't be happier about that!


In other news.. I'm feeling out of sorts lately and I'm not sure if it's because of this stomach thing (I have gastritis brought on by stress and a slew of other issues), the stress, the weather or just an itch for something more in my life. All I know is it's really, really irritating. I feel like I spend all my time running to catch up.. catch up on bills, plans, cleaning, sleeping... just running all the time. Just once I'd like to be on top of things and prepared. Sometimes life can be more fun when you have no idea what's going on, and being spontaneous and random makes for some great memories, but it also creates a lot of stress. Lately I've been dealing with some pretty heavy things, and I'm ready to just relax, but that doesn't seem to be possible with the holiday season right around the corner. Part of all of this is that it's my own fault most of the time. I am the kind of person who is never ready to settle, and I tend to forget things after you tell me. I have all sorts of items and goodies to help me get organized and then don't use them as often as I should. It's my curse, I always want more and want to go, go, go! So it leaves little time for me to sit back and enjoy where I am when I'm always looking to the future and what's next.

Here's the fun part. The "what's next" part scares the crap out of me.

Meghan's Music Musings

I love music and it's a huge part of who I am and who I was. Songs are usually associated with people/ events/ memories for me so I've decided as a little extra fun for NaBloPoMo I'm going to add a section each day for me to blab about my favorite thing. Music. I'm going to put my iPod on random (in a playlist that excludes comedians, Christmas music, musicals and odd things I have on there...) and select a song to share/ discuss everyday. So here it goes.

Song- My Stupid Mouth
Artist- John Mayer
Album- On His Own Live in L.A

I love John Mayer, so it's appropriate that he was first :) When I was in college my best friend Jessica took me to my first JM concert. I was WAY more excited to hear the opening band, Maroon 5, whom I LOVED *still do* but I was game to give mister JM a chance. I'd heard a few of his songs (Your Body Is a Wonderland) and was tooootally confused as to how he was going to put on an entertaining concert when he was more close your eyes and sway to the music (to me at the time) Well he came out and changed my mind. I was floored. He was adorable, had a way with words and a VERY talented guitarist. I was instantly hooked and went home and got all of the albums he had out at the time! On to the song. My Stupid Mouth is one of those songs I totally identify with. I call it my "foot in mouth" syndrome, but I tend to say dumb things that get me in trouble. It's got a catchy tune and is just a fun song to sing a long to. Not to mention I used to called myself Captain Backfire (do I smell a Halloween costume?!) all the time. The coolest thing about this version of the song is that I was AT the concert where this was recorded :) It was a benefit concert and he was performing with nothing more than his guitar and a mic. No band, no gimmicks all John. My amazing friend Traci got us (the Fab 4, Jessica, Cynthia, me and Trax) tickets and we had a BLAST. I made T-shirts, we took a million pictures, sang at the top of our lungs and made some amazing memories.. This was during his "yes I still know that song" set, when he played some older "classic" John. It was fun because I was remembering all of the songs I loved and this was one of the first ones I'd heard after I fell in love with him. Good start to a great month of music reminiscing.

~Outtie <3

**NaBloPoMo**

So after reading all my blogs again and laughing my butt off at the silliness that was me from 2003-well, now, I've decided to hop on the NaBloPoMo train and just do it. It's kind of nice to have a kick in the butt to start writing again.

A ton has happened in my life since I last REALLY posted, and there's no real way to re-cap it. It's been a roller coaster and I'm mid ride right now so just stay with me for a moment... More posts to come. I'm gonna get post happy today...

X Posted to L-J and FB

~outtie <3

**moving**

There are times in my life when I’ve looked back over the decisions I’ve made, the people I’ve met and the places I’ve been and wondered… how the hell did I get here? This is one of those moments. I look back at my 25 years of life… see where I’ve been… and realize that 11 days ago.. I got married. If you had told 21 year old me that in 4 years I’d be married I would have laughed in your face. What? Me? Never! I would have turned, taken a sip of my SoCo on the rocks and checked with the KJ to see when my turn to sing was up. I was ready to party, ready to embrace every stereotypical 21 year old vice. Not sleeping, friends, paryting, bars, karaoke.. Thus was my life. I didn’t care about anyone but myself and I wasn’t ready to deal with the cards I’d been dealt. I took things for granted. I ran from my responsibilities and blamed them on my circumstances. I worked hard, played harder and had nothing to show for it. I neglected my daughter, family and close friends all for the sake of getting my last hurrahs in before life caught up with me. I don’t regret any part of my life because in the end it’s made me the strong woman I am today.. But I wish I’d taken time to appreciate what I had. I wish I’d saved more money, spent more time with my daughter, spent more time with my family.. But like I said, I don’t regret it. All because I have learned so much and wouldn’t be able to appreciate any of what I have if I hadn’t gone through what I went through. What I put my family through. What I put my daughter through. It’s hard to write that. I know she’s only 5, but I feel like there are things I missed out on that I will never get back. Memories that should have been made and weren’t because I was selfish and crazy. I’m not perfect and I don’t think I should be. I’ve still got a lot to learn and I was young when she was born. Despite everything I’ve grown up right along with her, and though I still have a long way to go, I’m so proud of the kid she’s becoming, which wouldn’t have been possible without my family there every step of the way. While I can never repay them for everything they’ve done, I want to thank them for what they’ve done for me.. And for her. Packing up her room, my room and the toy room has brought me to tears a few times. This is my home. Has been for 25 years. It’s her home.. And has been since the day she was born.. I know this next step is necessary in growing up and it will be good and exciting and hard and scary, but I can’t help but mourn a little for my childhood home. I’ve had so many memories here. Good times. Bad times. Breakups. First kisses. Deaths. Pets. Tears. Laughter. It’s all been in my little corner of La Habra. Though I know I can visit and that my memories will never fade, it’s a hard reality to face. In just over 2 days from now.

I wont live here anymore.

Fry-less Lent

So the last 3 or 4 years for lent I've given up fried foods. I will tell you now that french fries and chips are two of my favorite foods in the world, so this is no easy feat. I am happy to report that all those years I've been able to almost do it, with a few slip ups eating things I didn't realize were fried... However this year I've decided to do something a little more involved... my good friend George sums it up best here. Using this as a step stone for a healthier and happier Me. So for this year I've decided to give up not just fried foods (fries, chips, Chinese food... ect.) but junky food as well... chocolate, candy, and other high fat low nutritional snacks. On top of that I am going to exercise daily. I hope to not only feel better, but lose some weight and get more energy!

Now for the hardest one.. I'm going to limit my soda intake to one.. yes ONE.. a day. To some of you that may not seem like much, but for me that's huge. I am going to replace it with water or tea. When I was about 16 I drank even more soda than I do now.. one year for lent I gave up junk food which included dark sodas... It was the hardest thing I'd ever done and I had a horrible caffeine withdrawal headache for 40 days... Which is why I'm going to allow myself one soda.. but trust me, limiting myself to one is going to be super hard.. I'm hoping to come out of this less dependent on soda...

So here it goes. 40 days and 40 nights of watching what I eat, exercising and drinking more water.

~Outtie <3