Single motherhood

So I've been thinking and there are some good an bad things to being a single parent. Especially in my situation where the other parent is a part of their kids lives. Don't get me wrong my family is amazing and supports me like no one else could but the reality is that it comes down to me. I'm it.. And there are the ups and downs.. In fact I think I may list them...

Top 5 reason being a single parent sucks

5) always having to play the bad guy.
4) having one income.
3) feeling awful and guilty when you have to work overtime to make ends meet and miss out on things your kid does.. Or just time with your kid.
2) never having a moment alone because you are always on duty. Always.
1) missing your kid like crazy when they're with the other parent.

Top 5 reasons being a single parent is great
5) you get to be the center of their world
4) you learn to fully appreciate a hot shower... Alone... With time to shave BOTH legs
3) your toned arms from carrying all the groceries, your purse, and the diaper bag with the kid on your other hip... No one can juggle like a single mom... NOBODY!
2) you'll get the respect you deserve in the end for doing it alone
1) the love in your babies eyes when they run to you for everything... And just how close you become.

Take some time to pray for a single mom/dad you know. It's a tough gig.. But I wouldn't change any decisions I made.

To my little rose. I know I've made a lot of mistakes, and I continue to make them. I just pray that you see that I'm doing the best I can for you and I hope you see how hard I'm trying. Remember that mommy loves you and is growing up right along with you. I love you.

-outtie <3

TGI.... S??

I'm so glad it's Saturday but it's bittersweet for me.. we're going to a grad party, we had breakfast this morning.. it was fun and yummy and it's going to be a good day... but tomorrow morning little Rose goes to her daddy's house for the week.. I know he misses her just as much as me so of course I want him to see her, but it's so hard for me because I miss her like crazy.. it's just not the same around here without her! Then she comes back for the weekend, then she goes back until the end of July... Which is going to LE SUCK!

But it's okay, she needs to spend time with her daddy and it's good for her.. It'll allow me to get her toy room "weeded out" without her crying about everything I'm getting rid of *grin* haha.

anyway. I bought a new camera today!! I saved for it and I bought it and it's pink and I LOVE it! Expect pictures :)

I'm hoping to get some more SD cards so I can fill a million of them on my trip this summer.. more on that panic attack later.

I'm off to see if I can get little rose to nap before the party tonight.

<3

(besides.. I love naps *grin*)

Grumblegrumblegrumble

Today was hard. Went to work with a splitting headache and no cough medicine cause driving with codine isn't always the best idea.. I didn't get a full nights sleep because little rose had a bad dream about monsters... Climbed into my bed went back to sleep got woken up by my mom going to the bathroom and went into her room. When my mom didn't see her in my bed or her bed she went into panic mode which woke me up and put me in panic mode.. She was sitting on the edge of my moms bed with her legs pulled up to her chest just terrified of whatever monsters she saw in her head poor thing. So I couldn fall back to sleep forever and when I finally did.. My alarm went off! Needless to say my goal of gettin up at my first alarm was a failed goal.. But I'm hopeful for tomorrow! My eating less goal went well today.. I resisted a cupcake and only ate my lean cuisine for lunch! It was yummy... Asian potstickers and rice! Dinner I didn't do as good.. I had two hotdogs.. One without a bun (we ran out.. Pure lazy!) and cottage cheese and fruit cocktail... What I really need is to start eating breakfast! I think I might get a costco size box of oatmeal and make it at work! My activity level sucks today. The most I did was move from the dinning room table to my bed. I'm exhausted and the cough syrup is taking it's toll on me. I'm such a lightweight with cold medicines! Anyway. Work was okay but I went to do my last book buddy mentoring today! I was so cute. The kids gave us little certificates and told us how much they appreciated what we did for them and how they are better readers because of us! We made little picture frames and gave then pictures of us! We then played a reading game with them. They're so so cute and so appreciative! I'm pretty sure there are tons of errors and that this makes almost no sense but even as I'm typing this on my itouch I feel my eyes closing!!

<3

Sick Monday...

Ugh. I woke up this morning with a sore throat and a stuffy sinus'. I hate being sick. HATE! I can't express how much I hate it.. it really sucks because I feel like I can't do anything. I'm going to try to get the rest of my "spring" cleaning done and get my computer working, but I'm not hopeful it will be anytime soon.

Lets see how it goes. I'll add to this later... :)

So it's almost 9 and I'm in bed blogging on my iTouch :) today was pretty okay.. I've decided to try to do something active every day and just work on myself this summer. No weight loss goal just try to be active and see what happens! I rollerbladed around my old high school with little rose after a very satisfying late nap :) I didn't gorge myself at lunch or dinner and I didn't come home and eat a bunch of junk so i'd call day one a success! Here's to a satisfyingly active summer!!!

Now I'm gonna get some much needed sleep! Cough syrup with codine and a tired body from coughing means an early bedtime... Plus I'm gonna try and get up when my FIRST alarm goes off tomorrow! Hahaha... Yeah right!!

"A person's a person, no matter how small" (words of wisdom from Horton Hears A Who".... Dr. Seuss)

Night. Sweet dreams.

<3

Lazy Sunday

I left at 9am only to come back at 830pm.

List of activities.
~Church
~sang in the praise band
~ enjoyed some good conversation
~Council meeting
~bored, but we needed members to be there
~Free lunch! woot!
~Pre School raid
~Found some good books, blankets, games and most important my new cpu tower!
~Went to Stator Bros
~Went to Pastor Skip and Elena's house to watch Godspell
~ Came out SOOOO good. Good to see what we looked like and laughed with the cast.
~Went "house for rent" searching with Lisa
~Found some cute houses in Uptown Whitter and enjoyed the company.
~ Ate at Boston Market for dinner (thanks Lisa!!)
~Came home and set up the dinosaur to see how it would run... it's slow but with some TLC I think it'll be a good little CPU :)

And to think I was JUST whining about how I needed a cpu of my own!

I'm excited :)

<3

I can't help it baby this is who I am.

So I've been slacking on Blogging a LOT lately and as always I feel like I should blog more to express myself and blah blah blah but I don't seem to have time.. not to mention a computer or an Internet connection during my downtime. I've been trying to con the wifi password out of our IT for a few days now, but he thinks I'm kidding when I pester him for the password to the Internet in the shop. I WILL find a way to hack Internet soon so I can blog on my lunch when I have nothing better to do.

Recap of May.
Dad's b-day
GODSPELL rehearsals.
Work
Fought and made up with Andrew.

Start of June.
GODSPELL performances. (went great. can't wait to see the DVD tomorrow!)
8 "monthiversary" (didn't do anything.. we had a performance!)
Work got "madeover"
Hailey "graduated" preschool

So yeah. B/C of Godspell my social life consisted of lines and singing with good friends. I got to know a lot of them very well and grew EVEN closer with old friends. It was a humbling and uplifting show. I am glad my boy and I got to share it together. The cast and crew were amazing. <3 you!

So yeah.. now that we're caught up lets see. Today I slept in till 9 (after going to bed at 10pm)wiped my iTouch, reinstalled iTunes, made a CD dl'ded some music. Did some laundry and am now re-syncing my iTouch. I've been frustrated the last few weeks since my iTouch hasn't been syncing with my iTunes and it's been freezing it.. this ever happen to you? I'm afraid once it syncs it's going to start freezing it again. Plus now I have to re-install all of my apps. Maybe next paycheck I'll actually buy some :)

OH! I heard from one of our customers that Verizon is trying to buy some rights to the iPhone.. if that's the case.. I'm SO in!

Anywho. Gotta go check the laundry and try to figure out the password for our wifi.. too bad my brothers asleep.. I'm pretty sure he knows it. It's probably Meghansucks... I'll try that one first.. haha.

<3